Bad Words

There is this awesome Museum in Queens that I loved going to as a kid. It's called the Museum of Moving Images. It is a great place to go if you love, television, movies, and history. You can purchase a membership and with that membership comes a variety of perks. One of which, I benefited from without having a membership.

A friend from work has a membership, and she was attending a variety of early screenings of films. Mostly, independent films, but still, first screenings none the less. On a random Tuesday she and her boyfriend couldn't attend the screening of Jason Bateman's "Bad Words", so she offered up the tickets to RB and I. I said "sure, what else am I doing that I can't go see a funny, independent film with the amazing Jason Bateman." She later informed me that usually, the director or someone important from the film does a little Q&A at the end of the film. I was super excited when I found out that this film was Jason Bateman's directorial debut, and he was the star and one of the producers! How fun. 

RB and I attended the show, with all the type of people I loathe in my city. I'm sure many of you "BIG" city people know what I am talking about. There are a certain type of transplant person who move to large cities and act all hoytie-toytie and think that they are real New Yorkers or Bostonians, or LA people. Hate to burst your bubble people, but you're transplants, and most of you are an annoying group of pompous asses. I digress, I know I have made mention of this before but the theater was filled with these people. (Annoying asses). The movie was HILARIOUS. You really ought to see it. It's a dark comedy, with outrageous dialogue and yet a sweet/sour ending. I loved it. I was only somewhat disappointed in the Q&A at the end, but that most certainly was not Jason Bateman's fault, it was the idiot people asking questions like, "I noticed you changed your hair for the film, was that written in?" Really?!? You have the opportunity to ask him pretty much anything and that's what you ask. We asked nothing, although I did want to tell him, I loved him since I was a child and RB wanted to tell him how great he thought he was on "Family Ties". 

Either way, it was a different kind of Tuesday Night in March, and I really recommend that if you have a weird sense of humor, you should enjoy "Bad Words" thoroughly. 

The day Jimmy Fallon Broke my heart.

For years I have watched, laughed at/with, and fell in love with Jimmy Fallon. The ridiculous laughter on SNL was enough for me to love him, but then he became JT's best friend, and kindest man on TV. He has done some amazing things on his show, and has donated time and money to others. It only made me love him more.

Knowing all this, Dad pulled a few strings and got RB and I VIP tickets to the Tonight Show just last month. You could say that I was excited about it, but I really was over the moon. I'm not sure what exactly my heart thought would happen, but alas, I had some expectations of the afternoon. 

RB and I took the day off to be sure we arrived on time, and ready to go. I couldn't wait! We followed directions, I called my dad's friend who got us the tickets, (as I was told to do) in hopes that I would get a tour. (Alas, like most people who work in this business, he didn't have "time" to get back to me, to show me around; just so you are aware, a lot of people I have encountered in the Motion Picture business, through my own time working with them, and dad working with them for 25+ years, they are relatively nice people, who are also "too busy", in general, the people I meet, who aren't construction crew people are, how should I say this, stuck up. Their time is worth more than yours, and they are more important than you.) 

I sat in my not very VIP seat, and awaited the arrival of the Roots Crew,  and Jimmy. The Roots arrived, and then Jimmy arrived to start the show. Not one second of what you see on Television is any different from being in the audience, Jimmy doesn't talk to the crowd during commercial breaks, the Roots don't play for the audience during commercial breaks; as a matter of fact, you are pretty much ignored by everyone (except for the NBC pages who are watching you to make sure you don't take any photographs). Nary a soul gives a crap about you. They actually say to you, "This is free, remember you didn't pay for this, so let's just act right." 

All of the above stung a bit, it hurt my feelings that Jimmy and the Roots didn't give the small audience the time of day any more than what we see on TV.  What really was the nail in the coffin was when Jimmy runs through the crowd at the end of the show and RB moved me to the aisle so that I can get a high five from Jimmy. This was it, all I needed to wash all the other disappointment away. Jimmy came around and a lady gave him a gift bag, he was trying to get the camera to zoom in on it, which was right next to me, so I began pointing at the bag as though to advertise it's greatness, and Jimmy Fallon gave me the DIRTIEST look, like what I was doing! I didn't touch him, the bag, or yell in his face. There really was no reason for the look. He even passed me by when it came my turn for a high five. 

My heart immediately broke, and I was hurt. I understand that this was ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous, but if you know anything about me, this all makes sense, and you'd be proud that I didn't cry an scream for Jimmy to love me as I loved him. 

I haven't been able to watch the Tonight Show since then, because it stung a bit, and the whole thing seemed fake. I know what it was like in that audience, and how not-so-special you are compared to the viewers at home. He also repeats himself, and that makes it less special. All in all, I'm glad I went, I just hope my broken heart will heal. 

3rd post's a charm.

I had written 2 posts prior to writing this one, but decided that this particular post was going to be published. The first post was mostly about how unmotivated I was, so unmotivated that I changed into my running clothes, and ended up going food shopping in them. The next attempted post was about how I still hadn't lost any weight, and wasn't having any good workouts, and feeling like total garbage.

I have registered for 2 Triathlons so far, one on April and one in June. I'm looking at one for September, but I'm a little hesitant because of the distance from my home, and the distances within the race. One of my favorite people has also "talked" me into doing a a half marathon in October with her and her husband; I knew I wouldn't be ready for a half-marathon in May, but I think I can survive one in October. I even (easily) convinced a friend of mine from college to run it too, she just did her first half earlier this month, so she seemed down. I guess I just need a reason to work out, it can't be for losing weight, because that's a dead end street.

I started swimming and riding last weekend, and my ass still hurts from my bike seat. Today's swim was actually a good feeling one, I didn't do much, but I felt better during my swim than I did on my horrible afternoon run.

I haven't been in a very good mood for the last few days, it might even be a week. I have limited patience for people; not just people I dislike, but also people I love, (RB and my parents seem to be the only exceptions), I even snapped at someone at work yesterday; she kind of deserved it. I had a few bad, and weird dreams, which sets me off, I've had a few conversations with alpha males that have aggravated me; I'm aware that I shouldn't get annoyed, it shouldn't get under my skin, but it did. The kids at school have been ridiculously annoying, and I hate to say it, but I want to just simply smack them. The month itself for work has been pretty intense with an overload of after school meetings and paperwork, which doesn't help in keeping me in good spirits. It is what it is I suppose.

As for the rest of my time, I recently went to the doctor, and she told me I was in great shape, healthy, and looking good. That was good to hear, and know that all the working out is at least doing something productive. RB is doing good too! I'm super proud of him, he decided to get prepared foods to help him try to loose weight and kickstart a healthier lifestyle- he's lost 9 lbs in 2 weeks! I'm super proud of him, and I hope he continues to do well, I just wish I wasn't eating dinner by myself every night.

So, the long and the short of this post is simple updates, I suppose.
Some posts to look forward to: Jimmy Fallon, "Bad Words" and Easter/Passover April VACATION...

wahoo for spring!

my faith is being restored in human kindness.

When I said that I wasn't sure how this whole renovating thing was going to go, I wasn't lying. I wasn't fooled to believe it would be a smooth, well oiled machine, that would actually be completed in the time I was told it would be completed. We have been very fortunate though in that no BIG problems arose during the renovations- i.e. termites, mold, super big construction issues etc. However, that isn't to say that annoyances, frustrations and completely aggravating situations have not arisen.

Appliances were ordered and scheduled to be delivered early in September until a request made by the contractor to change the date came along to which I obliged, which turned into Sears having to refund my appliance delivery charges, no tip for the delivery men, and a super aggravated me. It was endless, no one was there to accept delivery, they couldn't deliver as promised, no one on Sears' end answered the phone, blah, blah, blah. Needless to say, they are in and they are fabulous.

I decided to get a shower door [stupid move], because we got some money back when we had to reorder a new toilet, one that would fit more appropriately in our bathroom. That took way too long and cost WAY to much, it looks amazing though, nothing obstructing the view of my wonderfully retro bath tiles.

To closet system or to not closet system? well, this was a decision that I should have simply made for our bedroom closet and not both bedrooms because, our closet system purchased at the amazing Container Store worked out great for our bedroom and stupidly for the guest. Resulting in 3 trips to the store and a nice little fight between RB and I about putting the damned thing together. Once our stuff is in, I'm not worried too much about what it looks like, I simply want to utilize the space to it's maximum capacity.

All I really needed wanted was a farmhouse sink. It's an odd thing I know, but I envision babies bathing in it for some odd reason. It's homey and rich with style, I love them. I didn't care the size, and my blessed plumbing guy asked me about a million times to be SURE on the size. I check with the designer a million and one times on the size and sure as shit it was too big for the space. I was LIVID. I was so angry, not simply because I asked a million and one times, not because I looked like an idiot to my plumbing supply guy, not because I had to now order a size down, not that I even had to postponed the measuring/template of my counter top by 2 weeks, but because I had to pay the restocking fee on this enormous sink that was mistakenly ordered and it wasn't my fault! This wasn't the first time my designer/contractor made a mistake that cost me time, and money, remember the appliances above, yeah, because of him, I almost got a divorce- not really, but you know what I mean.

I decided I would tell him of my aggravation and complete and utter disappointment. He had nothing to respond to me with. When the head contractor/owner/carpenter picked up the new sink, and shower door, he paid for these items. When he and I were talking about it, he said, I paid, so we can work that into your final payment later. I replied with, "oh great, thanks, you saved me a check to write. how much was it again?' I knew full well how much it was but I was fishing to see if he would ask for more money. To my surprise and restoration in human kindness, he said, "well, you have to pay for the shower door, it was $xx plus tax, but since *Tim messed up big time with the sink, and that's not your fault at all, I'm going to take it out of his cut." with a slight chuckle, he looked at me, and I was overwhelmed. I said thank you, and mentioned how thoughtful that was, and he simply said that it "wasn't a problem, and it's what you do".

The head contractor has also decided to fix our vestibule floor free of charge, for having the renovations take so long and not having things goes as on schedule as he would have liked. This is a nice human, and maybe, maybe, most people would have done the same thing, and maybe he's playing me so that he can not hear me complain or whatever anymore, but he didn't have to do any of it. I would have complained, but still paid for the restocking fee, and the vestibule floor. But he didn't. He restored my faith in human kindness, in that people want to do nice things. It means a lot and Karma is working it's way around.

rapunzel inquisition

i don't know what prompted this... it just came out and none of it makes any sense at all...

• ask me why i like being left alone? because i like the sound of silence. because even though the thoughts in my head drive me crazy and make me sad, or angry, they are way less annoying to me then most actual human beings. they also make me smile, and laugh and happy. i think this is when being an only child really shines through. 
• ask me why i like when my husband isn't home? because shit gets fucking done; vacuuming, dusting, shit gets put away, laundry, dishes, plants get watered, music gets heard and the television isn't put on for hours at a time. the time he's gone allows me moments to miss him. when he is here all the time, i never miss him. that may sound silly to some, but for me, i need that time, without it, i begin to get angry and resentful. 
• ask me why i hate being asked the same question 3 times? because for some reason, by the 3rd time you've just annoyed me enough to be angry with you. once is enough, especially if you are asking me the infamous, "whats wrong?" i don't have that answer. i've never had that answer in my entire life, why at almost 31 years old would i suddenly have that fucking god-forsaken answer. no, i cannot pinpoint what is exactly wrong. i can pretty much tell you that my first answer will be tired though, and that's 99% truth, i am almost always tried in some way shape or form. so before you ask, once, twice, prepare for an aggravated answer the 3rd time, and yes, i am tired. 
• ask me why i like food? because i am a fat kid at heart. i like cooking but i prefer someone else do it. if your food sucks, i'd rather starve. i love eating out, at amazingly delicious restaurants, simple meals are the best. nothing need be fancy to make me clap my hands in complete satisfaction at a table. 
• ask me which would i prefer, sleep or a good book? sleep all the way, i'd rather sleep the day away. i've done it, i'm not afraid to admit it either on numerous occasions. just the other night, (accidentally, i swear it), i took a sleeping pill at 6:30am thinking it was 2:30am. i woke up at 11am when my mom called. i told her of my mistake, we laughed at my mistake, i got up for a little while and went back to bed around 2ish. 
• ask me why i would chose to lie than to tell the truth? because sometimes a little white lie, or a fib to keep from hurting someones feelings is better than the good old honest truth, that could really tear their heart out for what? nothing. 
• ask me why i get tattoos? because there's a special something about decorating my skin with art that i hold meaningful to me, that every time i look at it, it reminds me of what is important to me and only me. 
• ask me why i don't have children? because it is a choice that for now, my mind, heart, body and soul are not in agreement on; maybe one day they will be, maybe one day they won't, as of now, they aren't, so mind your own house. 
• ask me whatever you want... most of the time i'll give you the truth as long as it doesn't hurt. 

you know why you can ask me? because i am such a naturally inquisitive person, i question everything, all the time, that i don't mind when people ask me, anything. just ask, once. once is all it'll take. maybe twice. if i don't want to answer, i won't, but walk away and don't ask a third time, please. don't be nervous if i start to cry, or laugh, i get anxious, so you relax. let me tell you everything all at once and nothing at all.