"a mothers love for her child is like nothing else in the world. it knows no law, no pity, it dates all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path."
agatha christie, "the last seance"
a day before mothers day. i usually get this answer from my own mother when I ask her what she wants to do to celebrate, "i don't care, i don't want to celebrate, my mother is dead, i don't have a mother." nice right. so pleasant. i end up responding, "well i do, so too bad." this year was different. when i called to tell her that things have changed due to an unforeseen family scheduling conflict and the planned brunch at our apartment wasn't going to happen, and i said, "mommy, what do you want to do?" i waited and hoped not to get the answer that longed made me upset, "i don't care, my mother is dead." i was pleasantly surprised to hear, "ooh, i don't know, i'll think about it. we'll make it low key, because i have a daughter to celebrate it with." ahhh, finally, i felt like she understood what i had been trying to say for years .
just because i am not any ones mother, i am a godmother. you'd think my godchildren or their parents might take that into consideration- but they don't, it's ok, its better and easier for me. i'm sure though that if the tables were turned they would be annoyed that my kids were not respecting the fact that they were their godmothers, but it's not that serious and i'm not willing to put that much stock into it.
mothers day is a silly holiday anyway. i don't need a holiday to be grateful for my mother, or her love, or her teachings. for that matter, i don't need mother's day to appreciate any of the mother's i know and all they do. besides, as a person who isn't a mother, it does nothing but cause stress on me. it reminds my mother that she doesn't have her own mother. it forces her to spend time with people that she may or may not want to spend time with. like i need an excuse to tell my mom she's awesome or my aunt or my cousins.
mothers day to me, is a way to make shitty mother's feel better about themselves. a day to make husbands buy crap for their wives, and daughter-in-laws kiss their mother-in-laws asses. mother's day makes me feel bad for my mother that she doesn't have a mother, it makes me sad that i don't have my grandmother. on one hand it makes me real happy that i have my own mother. on the other hand it makes me annoyed that i have to spend it with anyone else's mother.
happy mother's day to all you wonderful women out there, whether you're a mother, godmother, sister, cousin, aunt, step-mother, lady of the house, daughter-in-law, wife, daughter, or simply just a friend. enjoy your special day with a special woman.
