Thursday, June 19, 2014

Happy Father's Day

I completed my second (of this year) Triathlon. It was on Father's Day, which seemed only fitting considering what kind of man my dad is. If you are a stranger and have no idea about my dad, I'll give a quick overview. My entire childhood was monopolized by swim meets for me, and Triathlons on weekends for him. Dad (and Mom for that matter) were always active, especially on warm spring, fall and summer days. To put it simply, Dad looks forward to June 21st every year because, "it's the longest day of the year Lynmittsky, from this day on, the days grow shorter, so I have to go for a 100 mile bike ride and enjoy the daylight to the fullest!"

So there you have it, being active is just inherited from these two, being stationary was never an option, which has always been interesting to me knowing that RB grew up in quite the opposite way. (Guess that's why we work).

It was only fitting that I do a triathlon, (500 meter open water swim, followed by a 10.5 mile ending with a 3 mile run), in honor of this man who taught me everything about training and fitness.  I felt pretty good in the freezing cold water, despite the fact that pretty much everybody was wearing a wet suit (wimps!), I probably could have gone faster, but it's the first leg, so I don't want to push it. As far as the bike, I know I could have been quicker. I had a flat in the front, and the weaving in and out of the business park area makes me slow down out of fear of wiping out. Lastly, the run, the dreaded portion of a triathlon for me, this is usually where everyone else excels; not me. This is the leg of the race where being 5th out of the water and having a decent bike leg, means virtually nothing. I get passed, easily. I can't complain however, I did average a little over 11 minute miles, which for me is huge, considering when I just do a run workout, I manage around 12 minute miles.

All in all, I finished 457th out of 600 people, 116th out of 195 women, 4th in my Division (Athena Division is women who weigh over 160 lbs) out of 7. Obviously, there is room for improvement in every way shape or form, but I did survive. I am thinking of doing an Olympic Distance race in September. (9/10th mile swim, 40k bike [25 miles], 10k run [6.2 miles]), Dad has even said, depending on how his elbow feels this summer, he might do it with me. Should be fun watching my 60 year old father beat me in a race. :-) I wouldn't have it any other way.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

The latest moments.

After a girl I work with made notice that I wear "whimsical" clothing that are colorful and make her smile, I began to make an effort on Wednesday to dress myself in the most whimsical of ways regardless of weather, and mood. So far, I've had pretty good Wednesday's and the bright colors even helped me to feel a little better.

 I've been feeling pretty good, aside from allergy season kicking my ass, I've been (knock on wood) feeling good with working out. I have not been making myself feel bad if I miss a work out, or over eat. I've made an attempt practically every day for a decent workout, and I'm happy the warmer weather is here because I've been eating a ridiculous amount of fresh fruit! I've managed to loose a few more pounds, and I'm feeling more like myself again. The old pup himself has been keeping my company while I lift, and ride outside at my parents house. I've been swimming at least once a week, and I feel more normal in the pool than I have in months. Running has gotten easier with the extra few pounds gone, although I'm not getting faster while out running, I'm able to go a little further each time I'm out.

I'm lucky enough to have a job where I can go out for 40 minutes at lunch and run in the park up the block. Some days are better than others, but that run really means a lot to my physical, social and emotional self. I'm worried that next school year, I won't be so lucky. Guess I'll just have to wait and see, and make it work for me.

The last thing I wanted to address was this quote that I came across on pinterest. (the best place on the Internet). When I read it originally, it had made me angry. I read it and felt that way because there are just some days were you really need to do the exact opposite of what this quote was preaching. Some days you need to lie in bed, or in front of the t.v. and not move, not get dressed, skip it and let it go. Sometimes you need to give up, because giving up isn't always a bad move. Staying in and skipping out on things sometimes is the right move for how you feel. Granted, when it comes to exercise, there should be an effort on a daily basis, however, there are just those days, even with exercise, that sitting "this one out" is important to your well being. I think that's why a lot of the "motivational" quotes and "make today your bitch" kinda stuff is good to a point, making sure you take care of you, and seeing the beauty in life, and following your feelings, rather than forcing yourself to go because you think that's whats right and what will always work is wrong. This isn't the first, the only and the last quote that makes me angry when I read it. The same holds true for another quote, it something having to do with, people who aren't nice or rude or swear are of lesser intelligence, or lesser empathy than those that aren't rude, kind to EVERYONE and don't swear.- pah-leez. Sometimes, a mother f***er needs to be told they are a mother f***er! Sometimes, people need to not mistake my kindness for friendship, and just because I'm not nice to every person I meet on the street, or who walks into my classroom, or my home, doesn't mean that I am not a genuinely nice person to the people that earn it, need it,  not everyone deserves the same treatment. They all haven't earned my kind heart, my love, or even my respect. So, for those of you who think less of me or don't like me, or judge me, when I swear, skip a party or workout, when I am nasty when you say something about my students or family, thank you, and you can scratch.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

not my best moment

I've gone bat shit crazy. I've been doing such a good job, (if I do say so myself) at ignoring the stupid people around me. I have pretty much steered clear of facebook, walked away from conversations that make me feel the word vomit creep its way up through my throat, I've (tried) to keep my mouth shut. running at lunch has really helped me control my inability to ignore, and when I don't get out, I feel it.

today wasn't a particularly rough day. no days in recent years have been particularly rough. here and there, there have been moments in a day that I didn't think I'd make it through, but I managed. I've learned to speak to RB when I get home, and not yell at him for things that have little to nothing to do with him. Today was no different either. I was able to talk to him about my aggravating day.

again, I reiterate, that nothing was particularly hard, rough, or overwhelming, it was probably just the day where everything hit a point, and I simply couldn't take it.

I could easily get into the details, and complain (first world problems), but, I'm choosing not to. I am choosing to say that I'm slightly embarrassed for loosing my mind today, luckily, I lost it in front of people, I feel like are... my friends. (I might have shown signs of "crazy" earlier in the day, but the true rant and crazy didn't rear it's ugly head until I was with friends). It was not my best moment.

I'm thinking I'm tired, I'm stressing (or showing signs of anxiety) about things that, up until recently, I have learned to let go. I might need a break, and the end of June can't come soon enough. I shouldn't rush time, or my life away, but I just want to what I want to do; not for anyone else, not for work, not to make anyone else's life easier/more convenient or appease anyone. I want to go to the beach, stay up late, drink beer outside, workout when I want to, (have my clothes fit).

Take a breath, stand back, and relax.