the night i decided to drive

my mother-in-law or i like to refer to her as... no, no i'll be nothing but pleasant when it comes to my MIL, although... anyway, my MIL was kind and generous enough to lend me her lesbian looking subaru. i have nothing against lesbians, i enjoy lesbians, however, i look like a total lesbian in this particular vehicle. it also has hardly any pick-up, however it has a killer sunroof! i digress. rb and i went to visit some friends this past weekend, and usually rb would drive but i offered to drive with the contingent plan that if i were to intoxicated to drive home, he could drive his mother's car home. this time it wasn't the case. i enjoyed a small glass of white wine whereas rb indulged in slightly more than that. 

rb almost never drinks. he often is afraid of being an angry drunk- never angry or violent with me, but rb has a slight filter as it is, when alcohol is introduced the filter disintegrates and everyone is fair game. he will remember almost everything, however, he will have a hard time controlling what he is saying as he is saying it and in what volume he is saying it. i absolutely love it! 

rb and our friend john first had some bourbon, than moved onto the Johnny Walker Gold Label and finished off the bottle. both john and rb were wasted face, as i love to say. john we are used to consuming large quantities of alcohol whereas both john and dana his wife, and a long time friend of mine, have never and i mean never seen his like this. 

rb was signing and slurring most of his words. at one point he said, "i'm worried i'm going to get angry drunk." i responded with, "if you get angry drunk, i will punch you sqaure in the face." rb replied, "oh, you think you can punch me, but, i am kung foo serious!" the three of us laughed, and in reality i knew what the dag-on-fool was trying to say but it was hilarious to see someone who is "so put together" fall apart. after a few hours of his ranting and versions of "call me maybe" that i so totally wish i caputured on video, we ordered a pizza. he scoffed down some pizza, spilled his scotch on dana's couch, watched some olympics with one eye closed because he was convinced that that would help him from seeing triple and left around 11:30 to head home. 

the entire ride home was priceless. "oh rapunzel, i'm so drunk! did you know i was this drunk?" "its good that i'm not driving, i couldn't drive, people might die." etc. all this was said with a slurred sort of speech impediment, and a giggle. we get home, i put rb to bed, take off his glasses, give him tylenol, water and say goodnight. again, i get a mumbled mess of an "i love you" and "i'm really drunk, but not as drunk as i was before" and he passes out without moving for 12 hours. 

i know none of this may sound all that funny or interesting to you, but if you knew rb at all, you would recognize the hilarity of this evening. i hope it happens again when we go to maine for our my 10th annual week in maine vacation. i want to share it with jan and june and their respective husbands, but it needs to happen naturally and apparently with bourbon and scotch!