it has taken me a long time to become more grateful for the things i have, and even as i write this i am realizing that there are certainly times that i don't act as grateful as i should. i think this realization comes with age, and the lack of acting as though i am grateful at times is apart of being human.
when RB got sick the first time, i kept asking "why?", "why me? why us? why now?" after he got sick for the second time, and we went through everything we went through, i started becoming a more grateful, happier, thankful, 'it happens for a reason', 'it'll work out', kinda person, silver-linings and shit. even the negative people in or life have helped to teach me to be more grateful for what i have and what i have been through, because i know things aren't as bad as they all perceive them to be. it could and has always be worse.
last weekend i sat in hour and a half traffic to drive 4.5 miles. i almost peed myself- which wouldn't be the first time- in my new car, while sitting in this traffic. i was praying that i would make it home to use the bathroom. luckily, i did. i mention all this because on monday, NYC and the east coast was hit with hurricane Sandy. she destroyed neighborhoods, shore lines, some of my favorite places. i wish my vocabulary was larger so that i could possibly explain to you what when on here from sunday to tuesday. it's totally one of those things that you need to experience for yourself to understand and truly comprehend.
i've been home since monday, waiting for schools to reopen, the subways to be de-flooded and cleaned up, and electricity to be fixed. some friends lost everything, some people i know lost friends. the photo's of what happened here are pretty incredible and so surreal. my family, are safe and sound. i mean, my cousins both lost electricity, but otherwise everyone, safe and sound. completely lucky. absolutely fortunate.
it's like a war zone in some areas. nothing is normal. nothing. trees down, super markets struggling to be filled again, lights out, roads closed, people homeless, the list goes on. the latest development is the lack of gasoline. people are rioting, and waiting on gas lines, similar to how my parents described the 70's. i believe everything will be fine, and eventually everything will go back to being the status quo, just not the same.
after all of this, i find that people are still complaining, about having to go to work, about the weather, about whatever they normally complain about. it's frustrating to me after everything that has happened and continues to happen that people can still feel ungrateful for anything.
if the worst thing that happens to me this week is that i almost peed myself in my new car while sitting in traffic for an hour and a half, and only having to go to work one day this week, i'm pretty sure i am one of the lucky ones. in addition, i was surprised when some friends extended their concern and have shown more care than anticipated towards me, my family and my city. i couldn't be more grateful.
i'm definitely fortunate, and i know it, so i'm clapping my hands and feet.
It has been difficult to refrain from commenting when people in areas that were not hit as bad as NYC complain about how their power still isn't back on yet. Really? You still have your home and family! Glad your family was so fortunate, and so sad about all the loss.
ReplyDeletei myself am having difficulty refraining from not punching people in the face for some behavior. but to each his own, and i don't know what else anyone is dealing with so who am i to judge. i was telling Jan and June yesterday that people are posing as CON ED workers and FEMA knocking on doors to be invited inside only to rob the people living there by gun point. How can you as a human rob someone who has practically nothing left? it is sad here, and people are going a little stir crazy.
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