the woes of me.

i really wish i was more entertaining than i actually am. i mean, i used to think i was pretty entertaining/amusing but now, i look back at my blogs and think- "what an asshole." i certainly don't write to complain, but sometimes i feel like that is what's happening. i also feel as though i think my stories are hilarious and in reality they aren't. not to mention, that the funniest things to me are simple, and small and i appreciate them all but never seem to get them down on this here blog. the woes of me.

it's sad to me that at 31 i am still looking for some kinda of approval from friends and outsiders that what i am in fact doing amuses them in some way. pathetic.

anyway- a few things have crossed my mind recently to "blog" about but i have yet again either forgotten, or have yet to put them down. needless to say, i'm wicked lazy.

RB and i recently went to get our mortgage in order for our fancy 2 bedroom apartment. we have, what seems like forever, to wait for everything to kinda work out, but i know inevitably it will. about a month ago i told suggested to RB that he call our landlord and plant the seed of living month to month for the beginning of next year and not renewing our yearly lease. my suggestion was ignored, brushed off as though it was silly of me to suggest such a superfluous thing. here we are almost december and our lease is up on the 17th. after mentioning that suggestion again RB tells me, "why didn't you suggest that sooner?" really?! god love him, because sometimes i want to put my fist through his face. i calmly said that i did suggest it about a month or so ago and you, good sir, simply dismissed me.

--- I know what you are all thinking, if i thought it was a good idea, why didn't i just do it myself? well, for one, it's not my job to do those things in our marriage <ha, ha>, two, my job doesn't allow me time to generally make phone calls or randomly send emails throughout the day, especially if it's not on my mind or work to do list, third, when it comes to things like this i usually defer to RB thinking his way is better.---

RB emailed our landlord asking that we live month to month and today we have received a reply email. it states that they no longer do month-to-month leases but we can do 6 months. <insert that sound that goes off when you have lost on a game show or bid to high on the showcase showdown> in reality we would only need (hopefully) 3-4 months. now you ask, why not go for the 6, because money doesn't grow on trees. how am i paying a mortgage, maintenance and rent for 6 months? am i suddenly becoming independently wealthy? because if thats happening, i want to go on plenty of vacations instead.

shrug it off, some might say. move home for a few months! thats a brilliant idea. however, i will be living with my parents (and i will do it happily!!) while , RB would move in with my MIL and either kill her, or himself. he can't live with my parents being that Bene the dog resides there and he is allergic to him. Guess we'll live apart. i'm not going to shy or not admit this, but i couldn't be more excited if that is really what will happen! i mean, sure, i'd miss RB and sleeping with my husband, waking up and being lazy in my own house in my own space with my own husband, however, i really love being home, and love my parents and would just love to be home for the holidays!! (i'm getting giddy just thinking about it).

many friends of mine when i was younger couldn't wait to move out of the families house, get their own space, etc. NOT ME! i was more than content on staying there forever if i could. i'm pretty sure that if RB wasn't allergic to the dog, we might have lived at my parents house for a little while after being married, and now we wouldn't think twice about it for all intensive purposes. alas, that wasn't the case.

i'm concerned now that RB will refuse to move home, and make us pay the 6 months rent, while waiting our new place, but i have to say that i really don't want to. I think it's a complete waste of money and it's silly. of course you could argue that this whole new apt thing could fall through and we would be homeless. that would suck on a whole other level. for now, i'm dreaming about being a young adult again, and dating my husband while living with my parents. it all sounds so magical.