the moocher gym member

for years i have been going to my parents house to use their treadmill, weights and pilates machines. i enjoy my free gym and the comforts of home. i not only get to workout but also spend some QT with one or both of my parents. mom often says things to me such as, "don't you have a treadmill in your building?" and "i'm going to start charging you for the water and electricity." i also, sometimes, bring laundry, so it totally is a multi-serving hot spot. recently, their hot water heater/boiler died, and i didn't go there for a few days. the day it broke i was however, there. it was the coldest shower i had ever taken. i could have gone home, but i had a hot date with Amy and i smelled WICKED bad! anyway, when the boiler/hot water heater was up and running, i received the following email from my mom: (which is totally one of the best emails that i have ever received and one of the many reasons i adore my mom),

Dear Member (a.k.a. Lil' Girl),

We are excited to report our gym will re-open to all members tomorrow, November 26th!!  

We now have heat and hot water at the Moocher Gym.  

Our amenities include: Hot showers, towels, shampoo, soap, moisturizers, hair dryer and flat iron.  Our treadmill and pilates equipment are available, whenever you show up.  

Your membership includes the expertise of a four-time Ironman competitor with close to 40 years of exercise experience, a Doctor of Physical Therapy to address any questions you may have regarding post-workout recovery and/or injuries.  In addition, to allow you to focus fully on your workout and feel safe, we provide canine security, who also provides a meet and greet upon your arrival.   

In addition, as a special perk for you, a Mother and Father's life-time devotion to all your needs.

To show our appreciation of your patience during our closing and your loyalty, we have extended your membership (if that were possible) to a lifetime membership.

Looking foward to seeing you soon.  

Management (a.k.a. Mommy and Daddy)