say a little prayer...

I'm not really all that religious. I wasn't raised in a religious household. We didn't attend church, although, I have been baptized, and confirmed, we aren't very "organized religion" religious. I was raised with "faith". Faith that things will work out the way it should, faith in yourself, in your abilities and that you are innately a good person. Growing up I was taught about religious freedom and that it was okay to adopt theories, faiths, feelings from many religious sects. I have faith in a variety of theories. (It helped my religious beliefs tremendously that I was a religion major in college).

I've done some super questionable stuff in my life, questionable to the point where I am ashamed and embarrassed and have to live with the sick feeling in the bellows of my belly. With all that though, I have faith, faith that there's a lesson to have been learned (I only wish I learned the lesson sooner, or the first time I fuck shit up). I only hope the people I hurt forgive me, and learn from my mistakes. I have faith that they will, over time of course.

Some lessons I have learned through my "faith" is to trust my first instinct, rather than giving people the benefit of the doubt in hopes that they won't turn into what my belly is instinctively telling me. I've learned that you can't always get what you want, but sometime, you"ll find you get exactly what you need without ever even knowing it (thank you Mick Jagger for that ever reverberating lesson), just have that faith. I've learned that I'm fortunate. One of my favorite quotes of all time is from Lemony Snicket: "It is a miracle if you can find true friends, and it is a miracle if you have enough food to eat, and it is a miracle if you get to spend your days and evenings doing whatever it is you like to do, and the holiday season- like all other seasons- is a good time not only to tell stories of miracles, but to think about the miracles in your own life, and to be grateful for them."

I've been focusing on my faith and my own miracles, and as much as I complain, and say ridiculous things about RB, and as unhappy I have every been with him, I'd be terribly unhappy, miserable, and completely dysfunctional without him, it's a miracle that he still loves me. It's a miracle that I have parents that love, treasure and take care of me more than they ever should despite my nasty attitude, or questionable behavior. It's a miracle that my family deals with me, feeds me, loves me, and helps to take care of me. It's a miracle I have a job where I have trusted colleagues. My very existence is a miracle.

With all that being said, pray for me, and for those I love and know, and in return will pray for all of you, that you too, can find faith, and miracles in your everyday lives.

Cheers to Health, Wealth, Faith, Miracles and Happiness in This New Year and Every Year Thereafter!