young ladies don't behave that way...

i'm a firm believer that there's no such thing as "normal" when it comes to family, and if there were such a thing, mine wasn't the model for it. although i am the only child from my parents, i have 2 cousins that are like sisters to me. we grew up together, but have different parents so we grew up with different sets of rules, freedoms, strangeness and dysfunctions.

i grew up in an interesting household. it wasn't weird, it was just different. i didn't know, obviously, that it was different until i went to college and was doing things on my own. then i met more and more people and figured out that as dysfunctional, and strange and different as my family life all was, everyones' family was also pretty strange, different and dysfunctional.  i grew up with a lot of rules as compared to most of my friends and a lot of freedoms that others did not have. i didn't think much of the rules or the freedoms until my friends started to point some of them out to me. the rules/freedoms such as:

• you can't sleep at a friends house, even if i know their parent's because what if god forbid their house burns down and you are inside- this seems ridiculous but i actually had a friend in high school whose aunt died that way as a teenager-
• you call EVERY TIME you change a location when you are out; ie: if i was at Cassy's house and we walked a block to Carolyne's i needed to call
• you call EVERY TIME plans change and you are going to be out later than normal, however, it must be no later than 9pm, i'm supposed to be home by 11, so if everyone wanted to go disco bowling at midnight,  i needed to make sure i called by 9 to tell my mom i'd be home by 2am, otherwise, i wasn't going. 
• at 13 i was allowed to take the subway into the city by myself to go shopping
• my mom/dad never went into my room for any reason other than to wake me if i had over slept or to check up on me if i were sick; no "snooping" or looking around was ever done, no cleaning of any kind was ever performed after the age of 12.
• no one can drive you home; take the bus or walk, or call your father
• there is a pay phone on every corner in nyc, there's no reason you can't call when i page you within 5 minutes. (remember pagers?!)
• girls don't fart, curse, spit or sit on a boys lap- usually all those things were followed by the phrase: "what do you think you're in a park?" 
• you don't talk back to your parents, you don't argue with your parents, and children (which no matter how old you are, you're always my child), are to be seen, not heard. 
• no drinking underage
• no drugs
• if you are ever anywhere that you don't think you should be, leave
• if you are doing something that your mother wouldn't be proud of you for doing, don't do it*
• you don't have to do anything you don't ever want to do- unless your mother says so
• your mother is your mother, your friends are your friends, don't mix the two; ignorance is bliss, don't over share, but don't keep the truth from her.

there are more but those are pretty "strange" according to most of my friends. i don't think any of them are pretty strange, but that's just how i grew up. the * is there because my mom pretty much did nothing, so anything that i might have wanted to do she would have most likely not have been proud of *.

this is all is being brought up because this Christmas we were visited by my mom's cousins. I love when they visit- they are a hoot! a fucking riot! i knew that my grandma, and her 2 sisters were pretty far out there when it came to "unlady-like" behavior, but they never really acted that way in public, or around men. they always kinda kept it to themselves. and you were never allowed to repeat it or anything like that. which is why i always found it interesting that my mom was so "straight laced" and taught me to be "so straight laced" - (we all see how well that worked).

anyway. my mom, her sister and their cousin grew up together. my mom, doesn't swear, but will be pretty foul mouthed when she deems it necessary, my aunt, is kinda in the middle and their cousin, really to be perfectly honest doesn't give a fuck. but, they get along like 3 peas in a pod; kinda like my grandma and her 2 sisters.

my moms' cousins' daughters were there and they are around my age, and i love hanging out with them. they tell some funny stories, and they curse, and drink and are pretty far out there, but it doesn't phase anyone. so, everyone is telling a story, and they are all just tossing around the word twat. i couldn't believe it. i grabbed my older "sisters" leg as soon as i heard it, and looked over at mom for a response. nothing. then they all starting using it, "twat", "twat", "twat". my jaw might have literally, hit the table.

everyone left, Christmas was over, as was story time and i was still in some kinda of shock. i have a sailors mouth, and i do participate in some stupid, crazy, "unlady-like" behaviors that my mother would not be all that proud of, but i just couldn't believe what just went on for a few hours. don't get me wrong, i loved it, it was just a little odd.

when we were celebrating for new years, i voiced my little bit of shock and awe of the comfort and unlady-like behaviors i witnessed at Christmas. my mom and aunt, laughed and said, it was normal, and that's just how things were when they were growing up. it just wasn't how things were when we were growing up.

i'm almost 31 years old, the worst word i've ever used in front of my mother was cunt, i was 9, and that was because i didn't know what it was, i heard it in a movie and i got smacked so hard in the mouth for using it, and was told never to use it again. (i love that word; rolls right off the tongue like slut). i don't swear in front of my mother, and i rarely ever talk about any drinking, nor do i barely act in a manner that can be considered "unlady-like" in front of her. but man, oh man, if i could... i'd be dead, she'd kill me.