i need help

i know i said that this hair will grow, and i didn't lie. shit. i didn't fucking lie. i know my hair grows fast but this is fucking stupid. i'd say that in 3 weeks, about a half-inch to an inch has grown. i can completely pin the bangs back, i look silly at this point. i'm not sure why i even bother. it's never bothered me to have gray hair, but the way my hair falls, and won't stay straight or curl, i have these rando wavy white hair. pretty creepy looking if you ask me,

and

i officially have no idea how the fuck to use a curling iron. i don't give a shit who tells me how "simple", "easy", "five minutes it takes", it doesn't. i'm not good at it. i can't do it. tools and i are not friends. i need to go to beauty school just to learn how to put on make-up myself and do my own hair.

someone help, i'm pathetic at 31 years old...