I can see for miles...

After not running for a week or so, i'm back in the (painful) swing of things. I have been trying to keep up with my working out because I know how important it is for me, my health and my ability to maintain my ideal weight. It hasn't been easy, and it certainly hasn't been fun. I also can't seem to break the 4-mile mark, which months ago, albeit slow, I could still get past 4-miles. I went for a run last Friday with a friend from work who is considerably faster than I, and she wanted some company. She wasn't feeling well but knew she needed to go out. She promised me an "easy" run, of course for her it was easy, and she was able to speak the entire time, full blow sentences, whilst I struggled to breathe and keep up. It should have been a faster run, but it wasn't as it turns out, mostly because I started out too fast. 

I had to begin breaking in my new sneakers and new orthotics because of the unbearable knee clicking, hip and lower back pain I was suffering from. Such an idiot I am, knowing full well I need to switch out the sneakers and yet continuing to run in the old, worn out crappy sneaks. (You'd think I would learn).

I'm still bummed over the fact that due to pool closures I can't train for a September triathlon. But there is always the 2015 season. 

I've been lifting at least 2 days a week, and squeezing in a 9+ mile ride a week as well. Now, to just get some pilates in there and work on that pelvic floor, to make sure that I have no upchuck reflex when looking at my naked self. That is my goal really, looking good naked. Not to be a specific weight, necessarily, not to wear a specific clothing size really, not even to look good in a bathing suit. For me, it's about liking the naked me. 

On a more clothed note: I'm really proud of two friends. In awe of them really. Jenski, who has been training for months almost "alongside" me for her half marathon in October and Jan, for her re-dedication to the art of running and also training for a half in October. Her husband is supposed to do it with her, I wonder how his training is going? Running for me is a necessary evil, but they are inspiring to me to do more. Maybe I won't train for a half, or a whole marathon, but it makes me think more seriously about longer triathlons. They both inspire me, and I'm super proud of them, even if they aren't proud or impressed with themselves! Good job ladies! Much love and keep going!! 

no news is... just fine.

I have realized that you all must be so distraught over the fact that I haven't posted in 5 weeks! I suppose I should make a decision and post regardless of recent happenings, but then I simply feel like I am forcing it.

I have decided to not do the September Triathlon on the basis that I cannot train for the longer swim. The pool I use is closed for 5 weeks beginning August 4th, which puts a wrench in the training. So, there's that. I am kinda bummed about it, mostly because my working out has really fallen off. I was violently ill for a few days beginning of this month, headache, and everything. So, working out didn't happen for over a week. I started back up again this past week, very slow, and a lot of rest in between, because that illness took a lot out of me. I am not recovering as quickly as I would like. I suppose by the time I get "back" to my old self, I'll screw it up somehow. Que Sera, Sera.

We have decided to stick with a week vacation in the one and only Vactionland, aka, the way life should be. It's much less expensive than most of our other vacations, and we'll get to see friends, new babies, and eat delicious food. We rented our own apartment on the beach, so I am looking forward to our own space. Don't get me wrong, there is something wonderful about staying at Jan's parents house for a week, but we are getting a tad old, and the house is starting to feel smaller with everyone in it. I'm headed to Atlanta for a weekend in September to see an old friend, and RB would like to head to Baltimore the last week of summer to catch an Orioles game--- Jenski do you have room for guests?

As far as vacations go, they may not be extravagant but they will be lovely short trips. We went to a good friends house yesterday, always a good time, and I made sure to say in front of Darla and Mike, I don't want anything for Christmas this coming year, instead I want a trip for Easter and a trip in August. I know it's early to talk about Christmas but you have no clue as to what RB is like...

I am aware this post is slightly a catch all, but it seemed silly to write a few separate posts for something so uneventful as all of the above. There are other things too, but I'm not ready to address them in this open forum, regardless of the fact that I know there are about 4 people who read this online "diary". In the end, this is it. I'm tired, and I'm looking forward to vacationland. 20 days till I'm there, Lobster in hand.

Happy Father's Day

I completed my second (of this year) Triathlon. It was on Father's Day, which seemed only fitting considering what kind of man my dad is. If you are a stranger and have no idea about my dad, I'll give a quick overview. My entire childhood was monopolized by swim meets for me, and Triathlons on weekends for him. Dad (and Mom for that matter) were always active, especially on warm spring, fall and summer days. To put it simply, Dad looks forward to June 21st every year because, "it's the longest day of the year Lynmittsky, from this day on, the days grow shorter, so I have to go for a 100 mile bike ride and enjoy the daylight to the fullest!"

So there you have it, being active is just inherited from these two, being stationary was never an option, which has always been interesting to me knowing that RB grew up in quite the opposite way. (Guess that's why we work).

It was only fitting that I do a triathlon, (500 meter open water swim, followed by a 10.5 mile ending with a 3 mile run), in honor of this man who taught me everything about training and fitness.  I felt pretty good in the freezing cold water, despite the fact that pretty much everybody was wearing a wet suit (wimps!), I probably could have gone faster, but it's the first leg, so I don't want to push it. As far as the bike, I know I could have been quicker. I had a flat in the front, and the weaving in and out of the business park area makes me slow down out of fear of wiping out. Lastly, the run, the dreaded portion of a triathlon for me, this is usually where everyone else excels; not me. This is the leg of the race where being 5th out of the water and having a decent bike leg, means virtually nothing. I get passed, easily. I can't complain however, I did average a little over 11 minute miles, which for me is huge, considering when I just do a run workout, I manage around 12 minute miles.

All in all, I finished 457th out of 600 people, 116th out of 195 women, 4th in my Division (Athena Division is women who weigh over 160 lbs) out of 7. Obviously, there is room for improvement in every way shape or form, but I did survive. I am thinking of doing an Olympic Distance race in September. (9/10th mile swim, 40k bike [25 miles], 10k run [6.2 miles]), Dad has even said, depending on how his elbow feels this summer, he might do it with me. Should be fun watching my 60 year old father beat me in a race. :-) I wouldn't have it any other way.

The latest moments.

After a girl I work with made notice that I wear "whimsical" clothing that are colorful and make her smile, I began to make an effort on Wednesday to dress myself in the most whimsical of ways regardless of weather, and mood. So far, I've had pretty good Wednesday's and the bright colors even helped me to feel a little better.

 I've been feeling pretty good, aside from allergy season kicking my ass, I've been (knock on wood) feeling good with working out. I have not been making myself feel bad if I miss a work out, or over eat. I've made an attempt practically every day for a decent workout, and I'm happy the warmer weather is here because I've been eating a ridiculous amount of fresh fruit! I've managed to loose a few more pounds, and I'm feeling more like myself again. The old pup himself has been keeping my company while I lift, and ride outside at my parents house. I've been swimming at least once a week, and I feel more normal in the pool than I have in months. Running has gotten easier with the extra few pounds gone, although I'm not getting faster while out running, I'm able to go a little further each time I'm out.

I'm lucky enough to have a job where I can go out for 40 minutes at lunch and run in the park up the block. Some days are better than others, but that run really means a lot to my physical, social and emotional self. I'm worried that next school year, I won't be so lucky. Guess I'll just have to wait and see, and make it work for me.















The last thing I wanted to address was this quote that I came across on pinterest. (the best place on the Internet). When I read it originally, it had made me angry. I read it and felt that way because there are just some days were you really need to do the exact opposite of what this quote was preaching. Some days you need to lie in bed, or in front of the t.v. and not move, not get dressed, skip it and let it go. Sometimes you need to give up, because giving up isn't always a bad move. Staying in and skipping out on things sometimes is the right move for how you feel. Granted, when it comes to exercise, there should be an effort on a daily basis, however, there are just those days, even with exercise, that sitting "this one out" is important to your well being. I think that's why a lot of the "motivational" quotes and "make today your bitch" kinda stuff is good to a point, making sure you take care of you, and seeing the beauty in life, and following your feelings, rather than forcing yourself to go because you think that's whats right and what will always work is wrong. This isn't the first, the only and the last quote that makes me angry when I read it. The same holds true for another quote, it something having to do with, people who aren't nice or rude or swear are of lesser intelligence, or lesser empathy than those that aren't rude, kind to EVERYONE and don't swear.- pah-leez. Sometimes, a mother f***er needs to be told they are a mother f***er! Sometimes, people need to not mistake my kindness for friendship, and just because I'm not nice to every person I meet on the street, or who walks into my classroom, or my home, doesn't mean that I am not a genuinely nice person to the people that earn it, need it,  not everyone deserves the same treatment. They all haven't earned my kind heart, my love, or even my respect. So, for those of you who think less of me or don't like me, or judge me, when I swear, skip a party or workout, when I am nasty when you say something about my students or family, thank you, and you can scratch.

not my best moment

I've gone bat shit crazy. I've been doing such a good job, (if I do say so myself) at ignoring the stupid people around me. I have pretty much steered clear of facebook, walked away from conversations that make me feel the word vomit creep its way up through my throat, I've (tried) to keep my mouth shut. running at lunch has really helped me control my inability to ignore, and when I don't get out, I feel it.

today wasn't a particularly rough day. no days in recent years have been particularly rough. here and there, there have been moments in a day that I didn't think I'd make it through, but I managed. I've learned to speak to RB when I get home, and not yell at him for things that have little to nothing to do with him. Today was no different either. I was able to talk to him about my aggravating day.

again, I reiterate, that nothing was particularly hard, rough, or overwhelming, it was probably just the day where everything hit a point, and I simply couldn't take it.

I could easily get into the details, and complain (first world problems), but, I'm choosing not to. I am choosing to say that I'm slightly embarrassed for loosing my mind today, luckily, I lost it in front of people, I feel like are... my friends. (I might have shown signs of "crazy" earlier in the day, but the true rant and crazy didn't rear it's ugly head until I was with friends). It was not my best moment.

I'm thinking I'm tired, I'm stressing (or showing signs of anxiety) about things that, up until recently, I have learned to let go. I might need a break, and the end of June can't come soon enough. I shouldn't rush time, or my life away, but I just want to what I want to do; not for anyone else, not for work, not to make anyone else's life easier/more convenient or appease anyone. I want to go to the beach, stay up late, drink beer outside, workout when I want to, (have my clothes fit).

Take a breath, stand back, and relax.

can i hide?

here i am. i'm tired. i know you must all be tired of hearing me say that, however, it's the truth. if i am not at work running around like a damned fool, i'm literally running around outside. i have done well the last week or so with workouts, but not with eating, i have successfully over eaten at dinner for the last 4 nights- bad move Lynmitsky. All the over eating has done for me is, 1. i feel disgusting full, 2. i feel extra hungry in the morning, 3. i feel overly gross, and feel like any of the workouts i have done has been successfully undone by the huge meal. i really just need to tell myself to STOP EATING.

on a different note, we are officially poor. i used to think that as long as we had some money in savings we'd be ok, well... there isn't much savings left, and i'm nervous, i mean, how will we ever catch up? it's like eating, i eat too much, and i spend to much, but i'm not sure where all the money goes. i try not to think about it, but i am cutting coupons, and looking for sales, and eating (basically) at home.

i have to stop thinking about it. i am driving myself nuts.

maybe i'm eating because we are poor?

maybe i'm a bear, overeating to prepare for hibernation?

(dummy)

the stress of hockey playoffs are also affecting my sleeping and ability to deal with stupidity that exists at work. i usually get to this point every year where i have little to no patience for adults and bratty children alike who use "your mother wasn't saying that last night when... (insert explicit phrase here)".

i'm also slightly nervous that in 16 days i have yet another triathlon that i feel terribly unprepared for. i suppose the next 16 days will just have to be the biggest, crazed, triathlon training lunatic. here's hoping. oh don't forget the baby shower i am planning at work, then the shower i have to go to, my aunts birthday, fathers day, and some other bull i have to do till the regular school year is over and summer school begins!

can i sleep for a week straight.

or just hide?

The last few weeks.

It's been a rough few weeks, lemme tell ya. Between lack of workout motivation, and trying to complete my last two classes, plus all the work I have piled on my desk, and after school responsibilities, it's no wonder that I have been sick, run down, and tired for the last 5 days.

If you didn't know, I was taking online classes for the last 12 months in order to reach top salary with the board of ed. Granted, the classes were not the most intellectually stimulating, they did require plenty of work, and time to complete the tasks and getting a passing grade. I just completed my final project for my last class. I am hoping that the salary increase will provide me with the financial push I need to go back to school and get another degree, or simply enjoy my extra monies and go on better vacations! ;-)

Workouts have been lame, or non existent. It's not good. I was doing so well, then, spring break came and I was so tired, and wanted to rest. Rest I did. When I started to get my ass in gear, I started to feel crappy, and here we are, sitting on the couch blogging about how I haven't really worked out. I am still doing the triathlon in a month, so I am hoping this weekend will be filled with movement.

I went to Maine for a few days and saw some lady friends. It. was. GREAT. The ride wasn't too terrible 4 1/2 hours each way, but I really missed RB and I wished he was with me. We haven't been doing to well financially, we have a lot of bills to pay. I had recently realized we spent A LOT of money last year. Between the purchase of an apartment, total renovations, Hawaii, Alabama, numerous trips to New England and a trip to Vegas for RB, we won't be doing much this summer or year in the name of travel.

About a week ago a mutual friend of ours requested a double date with his new lady. I was looking forward to so adult time, plus apparently, the girlfriend "knew" me. Turns out she had heard my name before but she doesn't know me, that's for sure. I am sure I am nit picking, however, my first impressions of girls are rarely positive ones. She was very pretty, very thin, barely ate, drank a lot, was somewhat self centered and a "one upper"; you know what I mean, you say something and she's done it, only better. the "one upper". She was also, pompous, arrogant and had that weird whistle when she spoke. She'd ask questions and not wait for a complete answer, she was studying to be a teacher, which you'd think she might ask me something, I mean after all, I've only been teaching for 11 years, nope, nothing. All of these things I could live with, honestly, even the 9 year age different between her and our friend, but then she did it. She asked the question, one that I have tried to avoid even with close friends, one that is none of her business; and out of respect I tried my hardest to skate around it without insulting her. She was persistent. "So, you have been married for 5 years, are you going to have kids soon?", "well have you thought about it?", "is it something you guys want?", "I mean, don't you want kids?" "5 years is a long time."... yup, my mouth was full of blood from me biting my tongue and not really telling her that she's a self-centered asshole who I have known for an hour, and asking me such personal questions isn't appropriate being that we aren't remotely close to being "friends".

That was friday.

Other than all that, we've been busy with family stuff, and just keeping it moving. Trying to get through this long and tough year, counting down the days till another day off. Only 90 days till I'm on an extended vacation, but who's counting.