in march 2009 RB and i tied the proverbial knot. in april his grandfather died and in july his dad died. it was a rough year. in december, RB was slated to turn to the dark-side, dirty thirty. he didn't want a party. i insisted that this birthday of all the birthdays be celebrated. so i planned a small gathering of people to attend a "surprise" attack at my mom's house for his impending demise of his twenties.
it was tough for RB to see his family, so as unfair as it was, and they'll never understand it, they weren't invited, (other than his mom). i mailed out corny surprise party invites to people who had never been to my moms with the date and time, specifically to my grandmother and step-grandfather because they are older and i wanted them to know it was in fact a surprise. in big bold letters i wrote MOM'S HOUSE, with her address and her phone number.
so, sunday comes and i pretend that we are heading over to my parents for a regular old sunday dinner. RB is fine with this arrangement- its mooch-a-meal sunday. as he is getting dressed OUR doorbell rings. i cannot answer our doorbell, we've lived in this shoebox for 3+ years and i still cannot answer the fucking bell. ask anyone. we have a camera on our bell as well, just an fyi. RB goes to the bell and there they are, the lollipop guild themselves. now, i love my grandparents but they are little, they look so tiny on that little camera, immediate confusion comes on RB's face, panic is on mine.
RB lets them upstairs and my grandfather looks around our apartment as if he's going to see a slew of party people.
my grandmother comes into my bedroom and asks in his best whispered voice- which isn't a whisper at all- "where is everyone?"
me: "are you serious?"
grandma: "yes, where are they?"
me: "they are where you should be. at mommies!"
grandma: "you never told me that!"
and she storms out of my bedroom, grabbing onto my grandfather, leaving the apartment. RB is now completely perplexed, but obviously figured it out, i'm crying out of anger because it was something so simple, and so easy. i called my mom's and got my dad on the phone and told him what just happened. i also had to tell RB what was going on.
we head over to my parents house and my grandparents are nowhere to be found. RB is still surprised by the people that are there and that i managed to get a sunday dinner put together for him without him knowing. when i ask my parents where my grandparents are, my mom says that my grandma felt really angry that i never told her where she was supposed to be that when they got to her house she was ranting and raving about she just left.
i was infuriated! you ruined the fucking birthday surprise and then you fucking go home! really? i know you're old and shit but c'mon! grow up- you're mad at me no less when you were the one who couldn't figure out where to go.
eventually, she apologized, and she was really just embarrassed. now we laugh about it. well at least RB and i do, we mock the fact that his surprise birthday party was ruined by the lollipop guild. ha ha ha, "where's everybody?" she asked! bat. shit. crazy. they are all bat, shit crazy.
the fact is she didn't ruin it for him, she ruined it for me. he thought and still finds this entire story hilarious and often says, "let's have a party and tell your grandparents about it so they show up at the wrong house." ahhh, old stubborn germans.
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